Inculcating ethics and respect

Much of the world's problems can be solved by dialogue and a true understanding of the situation as seen by each of the warring parties. While we hope our children will never be the victims of genocide and racism, we must also endeavor to bring them up in ways which make them aware of such divisions and equip them to face these issues straight on.

Set your priorities. Look within yourself and ask what are the values, thoughts and attitudes that you want to inculcate in your child. Be generous with your words of encouragement every time your child shows signs of having internalized those values.

Begin early. Even toddlers and preschoolers can understand words and concept like 'caring', 'sharing', 'kindness', 'truth' and 'responsibility'. So start inculcating these values in them very early in life. Also train them early in their lives into good habits like using the dustbin, cleaning their hands before a meal, and saying thank you when someone does them a good deed.

Practice what you preach. Set an example. You can't expect them to be honest if you call up your office to say you are sick when you are actually planing to go out for a movie.

Be consistent. Be consistent in the values or habits that you impart to your children, whether it be apologizing for a wrong doing or saying a prayer before dinner. If you say your prayers before dinner when yo are at home but not when you go out to a restaurant to eat, you only confuse your children. The message that they might get from this is that habits and values are flexible and can be molded or adapted according to one's convenience.

Beware of lip service. It is not enough for the kids to know when to say 'i' sorry', 'please' and 'thank you' but also to know the meaning of these words. For example, if the child tenders an apology to a sibling she should not only say 'i'm sorry' but also offer something as compensation, say, a hug or a kiss or a favorite toy. this will help bring home the point that they are responsible for the consequences of their actions.

Involved other people associated with your child. Your baby sitter also needs to know about what is important to you. After all she spends a considerable amount of time with your child and can influence her thinking in no small measure.

The personal touch. Encourage and help children to make their own gift instead of taking them to the shopping malls to buy expensive gifts for friends and relatives. In this way they learn that their thoughtfulness and effort is much more valuable than anything money can buy.

Capture the teachable moment. Don't just rely on family time to instill and impart values. Seize every teachable moment - while dropping your child to school, while going on a drive, or while watching TV - to important the right kind of values.

Inspire them. Parents often tend to lecture or preach. This may backfire. Kids may tune out, or they may rebel inwardly while being complaint on the surface. Ultimately, children learn not from lectures, but because of the respect parents show them. Praise and respect kids for their right and good deeds.