What a brat!

Your child's out of control and you're running out of patience. Follow these 10 steps to get her back in line.

1. Stand back and take stock

A lot of the battles are centred on activities like tidying up, supermarket shopping and visiting relatives. Maybe same of these ca be skipped every so often. That would reduse the number of confrantation points. Think about possible ways you can change your daily routine.

2. Set limits and stick to them

Decide what you expect in terms of her behaviour and explain that she must not cross the line. Don't give in to her tantrums or she will learn that losing her temper gets exactly what she wants.

3. Don't make empty threats

If you warn your child that such-and-such will happen if she misbehaves, follow through on the treat to punish. Use sensible punishments that are realistic, fair and enforceable. For instance, remove the toy she is fighting over, or reduce the amount of TV she is allowed to watch.(Extreme threats and punishments, like caning or banning her from playing with her friends for a month, are rarely effective.)

4. Use rewards

Assess your own behaviour through a typical week. If you find that you're given out more punishments than rewards, then do things to balance it out. An excess of punishment create a negative downward spiral that makes everyone miserable.  

5. Monitor your "nagging"

Nobody likes to thinks that she is negative and naggy towards her child, but it is easy to fall into this trap. Think about the number of times you have reprimanded her each day. Perhaps you could have ignored some of these instance or made a less negative remark to her.      

      

6. Emphasise her good behaviour

When you see moments of good behaviour - for instance, when she plays quietly with her toys in her room-make a big deal out of it. Let her know how pleased you are with her behaviour. This helps you both realise there are good moments, too.

7. Structure your day

Do your best to have a reasonable schedule of activities. Although you probably won't be able to follow the schedule to the letter, having a plan puts you back in control.

8. Be proud of your child's achievements

She may be very challenging and uncooperative at times, but she's also a fabulous child who does new skills that she acquires. Be proud of her progress, perhaps noting down each new stage in your blog.

9. Have realistic explanations

Set yourself attainable goals and look for small improvements in her behaviour over time.

10. Give her lots of cuddles

No matter how stained your relationship is withj her at times, make sure you give her lots of hugs. Loving, physical contact helps melt away the negatives and encourages you both to have a positive, caring frame of mind.