Bringing up confident kids

Parents can be the biggest promoters of their child's self-esteem, it isn't a particularly difficult things to do. If fact, most parents do it without even realizing that their words and actions have great impact on how their child feels about himself. Here are some suggestions to keep in mind.

When you feel good about your child, mention it to him.
A child doesn't know when you are feeling good about him and he needs to hear you tell him that you like having him in the family.


Teach your child to practice making positive self-statements.
Some examples of useful self-talk are , " I can get this problem, if i just keep trying."


Avoid criticism that takes the form of ridicule or shame.
When criticism is directed to the child as a person, it can easily deteriorate into ridicule or shame. It is important to learn to use ' I statements ' rather than ' you statements ' when giving criticism. For instance say, " I would like you to keep your clothes in the proper place in your closet or drawers, not lying all over your room;" rather than saying " Why are you such a lazy slob? Can't you take care of anything?"


Be generous with praise.
Use what is called descriptive praise to let your child know when they are doing something well.


Teach your child about decision-making and to recognize when he has made a good decision.
Guide your child through the process of making a decision, but do not make it for him. Let him learn the consequences of making and living with any decision he makes.


Develop a positive approach to providing structure for your child.
All kids and teens need to accept responsibility for their behavior. They should learn self-discipline. To help children learn self-discipline, the parent needs to adopt the role of coach/teacher rather than that of disciplinarian and punisher.